


You love me, right?

by MysticWysteria



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, Love, M/M, Time Travel, VIXXentines2021, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:27:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29141496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticWysteria/pseuds/MysticWysteria
Summary: People didn’t make sense, not the way gears did when they fit together, a system of a thousand parts all working in sync. Complex, sure, but logical. There was no logic in the empty shelves on the wall where Hakyeon’s book collection had once been.Things hadn’t started this way. They started with soft kisses stolen beneath streetlights at the end of a day, then with the cautious tangle of fingers that had bumped against each other one too many times, then there were embraces that never seemed to end and words whispered against the shell of his ear that opened up possibilities he had never considered, and now Cha Hakyeon was moving out of the place they had bought together and Hongbin didn’t think he was going to come back.
Relationships: Cha Hakyeon | N/Lee Hongbin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	You love me, right?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crazyjane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyjane/gifts).



> So glad to finally participate in a vixx fanfic writing challenge. If you're not a Starlight, please watch the VIXX Eternity music video with lyrics before reading this! The fic is centered around the plot and central themes of the song.

The lights flickered once, twice, and for a moment everything was still. Against the wall a clock rested with both hands facing up, dull under a layer of dust, and the cold gray-blues that fell across its surface mirrored the darkness of the night outside. 

There was music playing, flooding through the rooms and swelling with every beat, and along with it came Hakyeon. He flitted by in a manner not unlike the lights that filled the air above them, bright with energy and blinking from one area to the next. A muffled cacophony followed him wherever he went: the harsh sounds of glass against glass and the rustles of papers and letters. The framed cityscape above the dining table had been the first to get tucked away into a box, neatly slotted alongside the other artworks Hakyeon was so dearly attached to _,_ and then the plates and silverware had been packed up with the glasses from the cupboards and Hongbin found himself standing in the shell of what used to be their home.

“Binnie, darling, do you mind if I take a duvet? The gold one, with leaves?” Hakyeon’s voice was light, but when he smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Okay. Go ahead.”

“I knew you would understand,” Hakyeon crooned, sweeping past him to the bedroom where the blankets had been tucked away. The words barely registered to Hongbin. Understanding. Was that what he said? What was there to understand? People didn’t make sense, not the way gears did when they fit together, a system of a thousand parts all working in sync. Complex, sure, but _logical._ There was no logic in the empty shelves on the wall where Hakyeon’s book collection had once been.

By the time he had stumbled into the bedroom as well, Hakyeon was already on his way back out with an armful of thick white and gold fabric. _That one had always been the warmest._ Hakyeon’s body swayed gently to the rhythm of the music as he walked down the hallway, the music that was still pounding incessantly, pounding like Hongbin’s heartbeat in his ears.

“I’m going to sit down,” he announced, but the apartment was silent. Hakyeon had already shut the door behind him to take another load outside to where his car was probably waiting. Because he was coordinated, of course he was, he knew what he was doing. He was sensible in that way. Hongbin hadn’t packed his stuff away yet, hadn’t rented a moving van for the furniture Hakyeon didn’t want to take, wasn’t even sure if he had processed what was happening to begin with.

Things hadn’t started this way, he knew that much. They started with soft kisses stolen beneath streetlights at the end of a day, then with the cautious tangle of fingers that had bumped against each other one too many times, then there were embraces that never seemed to end and words whispered against the shell of his ear that opened up possibilities he had never considered, and now Cha Hakyeon was moving out of the place they had bought together and Hongbin didn’t think he was going to come back.

The bed was forgiving beneath him when his knees gave way. Letting his eyes fall shut did nothing to ease the relentless throbbing behind them, neither did sinking further down into the mattress, but at least now he could rest. The ticking of the clock was louder now, he was sure of it, and the cursed music wouldn’t _stop_. 

Somewhere down the hall the front door had opened and closed again, footsteps echoing up and down the hallway, squeaking sneakers and the occasional cough punctuating the air. There had to be multiple people in the apartment now, there were too many sounds to just be one, they clashed too harshly and were just loud enough to make Hongbin wince, but he knew there was just one. It was only Hakyeon. It had always just been Hakyeon.

  
  


“Hongbin? Binnie, are you alright?” Hakyeon’s voice again, but there was concern there now. 

“Hmm?” His eyes opened again, still heavy, then fluttered shut again when a warm hand reached out to rest heavily against his forehead.

“Oh, thank God you don’t have a fever. I was worried about you. Come on, get up, it’s almost noon.”

A sudden light flooded the bedroom and it took several blinks for Hongbin to realize that the curtains had been flung open.

“Get up,” Hakyeon repeated, and now there was a hand taking his own and pulling him up into a sitting position. The clock, it was still ticking, and Hongbin turned his head to the wall where it hung there as familiar as ever. The glass surface shone brighter now, both hands still stretched high towards the ceiling. Midnight, but it couldn’t be, because the warmth of his skin was from the sun somewhere high above them and its brilliance was mirrored in Hakyeon's smile. He was _glowing_ , eyes twinkling like the hundreds of lights that hung above them. 

When Hongbin tipped his head back and reached up to touch one of the lights, the bulb within the rounded glass flickered softly, and for a minute he remembered the day that he and Hakyeon hung each one the week after they had moved in. It had been Hakyeon’s decision, it was his artistic input after all that brought their apartment to life, but the ceiling lights in particular were his pride and joy. _When we lay down in bed and look up, it reminds me of a thousand stars._

“You like them too, don’t you.” Hakyeon's voice was gentle when he spoke. It was more of a statement than a question, but Hongbin nodded. They were beautiful. _You’re beautiful_ , he wanted to say, because he _was_. Hakyeon was ethereal. If he had told him so, Hakyeon would have tilted his head to the side and flashed that self-assured smile that made Hongbin’s heart catch in his throat. _I know_ , he would’ve replied. 

“Yes,” Hongbin said. It was all he was able to put into words. For a moment he wanted to say more, but then Hakyeon was tugging him to his feet and leading him down the hall to the kitchen.

“I brought you something,” he was saying, pausing to cover something on the counter with his body.

“For me?” 

There was a twinkle in Hakyeon’s eyes again. “Mm. Close your eyes.”

Hongbin obeyed. The world was dark around him now and anxiety crept up unbidden. Hakyeon had been standing in front of him a moment ago, tangible, but now nothing was certain and when his eyes opened again, he could be gone. 

Then something was pressed into his hands. He jolted for a second, it was rough in some areas and smooth in others, and then the sharp pain of something piercing his skin and Hakyeon was exclaiming, _Oh, I forgot to put them in a vase! I’m so sorry, be careful of the thorns_ , and then he opened his eyes and color bloomed in front of his vision. _Oh._

“You got me flowers,” he breathed. That was met with an offended huff.

“It’s _valentine's day_ , Binnie, why wouldn’t I? That’s not your present though, of course. Sit down, I bought you sweet and sour pork from your favorite place down the street and I made banchan to go with it, I can give you my gift after we eat.”

Hakyeon had not left the apartment all day. Hakyeon had not _been in the kitchen today_ except to pack away the hand-carved set of large wooden utensils that his parents had given them as part of their house-warming gift, but when Hongbin looked over at the kitchen counter, they were sitting right where they had always been. His heart clenched. _You were leaving me_ , he wanted to say.

“Thank you,” he said instead. Belatedly, it occurred to him that somehow, he meant it. Hakyeon flashed him the same brilliant smile that made his heart leap, and that was response enough. Several dishes were placed onto the table before him then, some still steaming and the others pleasantly warm, and his concerns were buried down that much further. Hakyeon was speaking, talking about the places he had been and the things he’d done, Hongbin couldn’t pin any of it down on a solid timeline but that no longer mattered when Hakyeon was _here_ in front of him talking to him with all the enthusiasm and fondness of the young and in love. It was easy now to wash away his worries with the wine Hakyeon had poured into a glass for him—his favorite kind, Hakyeon must have bought that today as well—and by the time he had finished the lunch his body felt pleasantly warm.

“Tell me about _your_ day now,” Hakyeon said as he put away the dishes. Hongbin paused, his head was swimming, though he could’ve sworn he hadn’t drunk enough wine to be this tipsy.

“I had a nightmare earlier.”

“Oh, love… Do you want to tell me about it?” There was so much tenderness in Hakyeon’s voice that Hongbin felt his words pile up behind his lips. And yet they wouldn’t come out, tangling and tripping over themselves, lying useless on his tongue.

“You left,” he said at last, pausing as though to process his own confession. He tried again, just as unsteadily, “You said that we would be better off separate. You packed up your things, and you… You left me.” 

“Oh Binnie, baby, I’m so sorry. God, no wonder you seemed so out of it today. I should’ve known something was up.”

Was something up? Hongbin didn’t know anything anymore. “Hakyeon,” he whispered, voice cracking on the second syllable of his name. “You love me, right?”

For a moment there was nothing but silence. And then, “ _Of course_ , Hongbin, more than anything—you’re my miracle, you know that?” 

It was all too much, and it was nothing at all, and Hongbin felt like he was about to explode. 

“Come here. Please.”

Hakyeon shook his head in disbelief but he made his way over willingly enough, drying his hands on his pants before reaching out to wind his arms around Hongbin from behind. And that was nice, really, feeling the warmth of a body against his back, but it wasn’t _enough_ and Hongbin was getting to his feet and turning to catch Hakyeon in his arms and crowd him against the wall. One hand fell to the small of Hakyeon’s back to pull him close and the other found its way to tangle in his hair empathetically when Hakyeon closed the distance between them with surprising vigor. _This,_ this was so much nicer. Hakyeon’s lips were soft against his own, demanding something that Hongbin was more than willing to give, and then Hakyeon was kissing a burning trail across his jawline and then down his neck and whatever inhibitions he had were thrown out the window.

“ _Hakyeon_.”

“I’m here, Hongbin, _oh_ _—_ ”

Hongbin’s hands had been making their way down Hakyeon’s back, following the curve of his spine, and now he grabbed him by his thighs and lifted him up on the counter. Any further sound of surprise was swallowed down and exhaled into the breaths shared between them. 

“Wait, _wait_ , stop!” Hakyeon disentangled himself from Hongbin’s arms, breathing heavily, and turned to fumble around with something behind him. “I almost crushed your present,” he explained with a rueful smile. His eyes were still shining and his lips were slightly swollen, pursing together when he pulled out a bag and checked inside to confirm its contents hadn’t been damaged. It must’ve been deemed good enough because he dropped down from the countertop and held the bag tightly between interlaced fingers. The way he stood reminded Hongbin of a schoolkid presenting their date with a box of chocolates, eyes round with anticipation. _I love you_ , Hongbin thought helplessly. He leaned in again to drop another kiss on the corner of Hakyeon’s mouth just because he could, then turned his attention back to the object he had been given.

Despite the size of the bag, the box that he took out of it was small enough to fit comfortably in the palm of his hand. The brand name on the lid was unfamiliar but the sprawling gold font carried a certain air of value. Hakyeon’s gaze was glued to his face, anticipating his reaction as he dug his nails under the lip to lift it up and see what was underneath.

 _Oh._ It was a watch, heavy in his hand and shining such a brilliant gold in the light. Lighter white-gold detailing cut arced through the outer frame like lightning and forked into fragments that were punctuated by small jewels laid into the metal. It was attractive, certainly, but what drew him in completely was the intricate web of gears that lay exposed behind the glass. There were so many, each of a different shape and size, and the way they nestled together so perfectly spoke of a power that was timeless.

“Let me put it on you.”

Hongbin held out his arm obediently and watched with unconcealed awe as Hakyeon took the watch out and draped it carefully over his wrist. He fastened the clasp with an audible _click_ , fingers brushing against Hongbin’s skin, then he was pulling away and there was a look in his eyes that Hongbin couldn’t place. 

_Thank you_ , he tried to say, but his throat felt too tight all of a sudden. The watch was ticking, he realized, Hakyeon must have set the time and turned it on. The ticking was louder though than it should be, surely. Were all watches this intrusive? He looked down, following the path of the minute hand, and the wave of unsteadiness that hit him at once caught him off guard. It was spinning, round and round in circles, blurring together and obscuring the numbers beneath them. Panic was seizing him in an instant. This wasn’t right, this wasn’t how things should be going, _Hakyeon_. Hakyeon, Hakyeon—

  
  
  
  


“Hongbin.”

His eyes flew open and the lights hanging from the ceiling blinked their welcome. 

“Hakyeon? Hakyeon please,” Hongbin gasped out, unaware of what he was asking for, just that he _needed_. “Yeonnie, help me, I—”

“Enough.” Hakyeon’s voice was cold, just like the gray-blue walls, just like the night sky outside. “I just came to let you know that I’ve finished loading the truck. I wanted to say goodbye, please don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

Hongbin fell silent. Oh. _Oh_. 

“You’re leaving,” he said. Hakyeon sighed. 

“We’ve been over this. Binnie, listen to me, I’m not arguing with you again. Just let me say goodbye and then we can be done with it, alright? Look at me.”

He didn’t look. The bed was so soft beneath him, the lights above were so bright. And there, on the wall, the clock. The _watch_. The same letters, the same symbols, the same pain behind his eyes as he stared at it. Somewhere beyond the window came a clap of thunder. The walls shook, the clock rattled, the ticking never stopped.

“If you’re not going to say anything, then… forget it. Alright. Goodbye, Hongbin. I shouldn’t have promised you forever, I’m sorry. We’re only human, aren’t we? We don’t get the luxury of eternity.”

 _Eternity._ Perhaps it had no meaning to any life that had an ending, but some feelings seemed to surpass mortality. _I thought that love was one of them._ His head was pounding again, and that was nothing new. The darkness outside was rolling in heavily, steadily, driven by the roar of the storm. Already he could feel it calling to him again: the endless grip of sleep. What was love, then, if not endless? He knew the answer. _Love is a nightmare._ A bolt of lightning from outside, searing white against his closed eyelids.

_Times over._

The darkness took over.

**Author's Note:**

> and there we go! My Eternity themed fic based on the prompt (and lyric) "You love me, right?" for Maz's VIXXentines2021 challenge :)
> 
> Let me know your thoughts, and as always you can find me on [Instagram](https://instagram.com/MysticWysteria) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/MysticWysteria) at @MysticWysteria


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